Experiencing occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. Everyone has experienced some sort of anxiety before whether it’s about figuring out how they will pay a bill or being late for work, etc. And those with severe anxiety experience a lot of things that they don’t talk about.
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However, people with anxiety disorders frequently, and I mean.. ALMOST ALL OF THE TIME, have intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Repeated episodes of those feelings can reach a peak within minutes or even seconds– which can easily bring on a panic attack.
Anxiety: The Things People Don’t Talk About
- How much it interferes with daily activities. I’m talking about something as simple as going grocery shopping or pumping gas at a gas station. People on the outside looking in look at it as if we are scared but that’s not the case. I can’t really explain the feeling except it’s just too overwhelming. Sometimes it’s too overwhelming to go take my dog for a walk. On my bad days, I literally have to force myself to get up. It sucks. If you
- Flaking out on social plans. This is maybe one of the top worst symptoms for me because I am very guilty when it comes to flaking out on someone. And it’s not even intentional and I hate it. I’ve been invited to plenty of places.. by friends…and even co-workers… and you know, like any other normal person… I’m like, hell yea.. I’m down for it! But when that day comes…It literally depends on the mood I wake up in if that makes sense. And I feel so bad when it’s not a good mood because I don’t ever want someone to think I’m doing this purposely or trying to avoid them, etc. And it’s not like they can understand what I am going through because they don’t have anxiety disorders.
Getting sick
- Nausea and vomiting. At first, I did not believe anxiety was a factor when it came to this. I would just assume something didn’t agree with my stomach or I had a stomach virus. Well you can’t have a stomach virus for over 3 weeks– I mean, you probably can but that’s not normal for me. Then I’d think about pregnancy. It wasn’t pregnancy either; obviously. But the more I kept going to the doctor and with everything coming back negative.. the more I believed that anxiety really did play a part in all of that. It all starts with me stressing about something.. then that’s when the nausea come in… then that’s when I am vomiting uncontrollably to the point of me dry heaving. I find this symptom embarrassing because it can really happen out of no where at any given time and it’s not like you can hide that type of symptom.
- The effect it has on dating. The overthinking, the trust issues, needing reassurance 24/7, the inconsistency, distancing yourself out of no where, being overly jealous, the what-if’s… all of that! It will run a person away if they are not prepared to get involved with someone who has a mental illness. I’ve experienced this before and it’s kind of why I chose to stay single for a good while. Besides me working on myself and healing from previous events in my life… I just rather stay away from dating til I am fully ready. It’s embarrassing to come off as “too much” to someone you have interest in.. know what I mean? but then there are some people in this world who are willing to put up with all of that and then some if they genuinely care for you and love you and want to be with you. So I guess it just depends on what type of person you meet.
These things are often kept a secret because it can be a bit embarrassing
- Crying. If you know me personally, I am a crier. Happy, sad, overwhelmed, pissed off- doesn’t matter. You will see tears in my eyes. The thing that people with an anxiety disorder don’t talk about is…we take things personally and cry a lot. Someone once told me… “I feel like I have to walk on eggshells when I’m around you.” And you know what.. that really hurt my feelings but I also understood where he was coming from. But it bothers me that he felt that way because then that means he isn’t the only one who feels that way around me. But I cannot help that I am overly sensitive. I kinda hate that I’m this way but also I don’t hate what God created me to be nor will I question it, so that’s that.
- The unexpected panic attacks. Our bodies go on alert for no reason. Sometimes I wish I can get a little warning or something but it’s too late for that when you are already hyperventilating and your hands are going numb.
Dating
Dating someone with an anxiety disorder can be a bit tricky for someone when the mental health disorder isn’t properly discussed and fully understood. I believe it is important for both partners to fully understand the mental health disorder and its symptoms, before pursuing a serious relationship.
- Uncontrollable worrying and overthinking are two of the main symptoms of anxiety and eventually can put a strain on a relationship if it’s not handled properly. This can lead to trust issues – something that I have! Anxiety can cause you to be irrational in a relationship for no reason.
- Reassurance. It doesn’t necessarily means we’re insecure. Ex: I know that a person loves me but my anxiety tells me that they don’t love me in the same way, which leaves me with uncertainty.
- Fearing abandonment. I believe that everyone doesn’t want their significant other to leave them but with anxiety, this fear can be a bit more intense. It sucks.
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