Learning how to stop being too hard on yourself can be life-changing. To feel a sense of peace and compassion for yourself is something everyone should have the opportunity to experience. What’s sad about being too hard on yourself is that it can be so normal that you hardly even notice it. In other words, your mind isn’t pointing out the negative thinking and self-sabotaging words because it happens so often.
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That’s not a way to live. And how you speak to yourself matters.
It feels like I’ve been way too hard on myself for my entire life. Whether it was in school, at work, or just in general life. As I grew older, it got more intense. And as I said previously, it became normal in my case. I honestly believe I am still struggling with perfectionism and that is why I’m still hard on myself at times. I don’t even want to be but it just happens.
Being too hard on yourself can really affect you mentally and leave you sad and exhausted and I know this because this is how I am currently living. Changing this habit doesn’t happen overnight but it CAN happen.
Things you do if you’re too hard on yourself:
- dwell on your mistakes
- compare yourself to others
- spend too much time rethinking past failures
- struggle to accept compliments
Understand that it’s okay to make mistakes
I know you probably heard this a lot but I’m going to say it anyway. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes but only some of us can actually learn and move on from them. The rest seem to dwell on them. Dwelling on the mistakes you made in the past serves no real purpose. It only stresses you out which will eventually result in a complete lack of growth.
Mistakes are bound to be made and that’s just something we all have to live with. I honestly HATE making mistakes and I think that’s why I overanalyze things so much just so I can try to avoid them. But that’s the thing, you can’t avoid mistakes. You can’t avoid life. Shit just happens and you have to stay neutral and just roll with it.
Stop comparing yourself to others
It’s not easy to say upfront that this is something you do. Hell, I even find myself doing it sometimes and it’s the very reason I stay off of social media unless it’s dealing with my blog. (helped me mentally, tremendously) But if you get on social media and feel a bit of tension when you get off of it… then you may be comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others is one of the easiest things that you can do to make yourself feel small. And you’re not really comparing yourself to the actual person; You’re comparing yourself to your perceived idea of them. Because in all honesty, you don’t really know their private struggles.
Social media does NOT help this habit that we are trying to break.
If seeing others and their “happy lives” on social media stresses you out or puts you down, then it may be time for a social media detox. I say that because being on social media all of the time isn’t healthy anyways. Refraining from social media for a while will give you some time to practice mindfulness and live in the moment.
According to the Mayo Clinic, mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment.
You can start practicing mindfulness by making a commitment to yourself to sit for 5-10 minutes a day and meditate. Put away all distractions because that will just defeat the purpose. A great way to make meditating more relaxing is to inhale essential oils from a diffuser during that time. This is called aromatherapy. It is amazing and literally the best thing you can do to relieve stress naturally.
Aromatherapy is my everyday go-to for anxiety relief. I currently have 2 diffusers up and running in my home.
Acknowledge your wins
If you’re too hard on yourself then you more than likely only focus on the things you screw up. Am I correct? From now on, focus on all of the things you have accomplished and will accomplish in life. It’s okay to speak positivity into existence because that will only help build you are a more positive mindset.
You are in control of your own life
Only you can break this ugly habit.
Free yourself from self-punishment so you can finally heal. If you continue to be too hard on yourself then you will set yourself back on a path toward contentment and true happiness.
You can’t be your #1 fan and your #1 enemy.