You’ve probably heard this before but self-love is the best love there is. There is no other kind of love like it. When you can fully love yourself through and through, you’ll experience happiness that you never knew existed. I’m talking about pure happiness from within. Trust me, it’s amazing when you get to that point. But things weren’t always great for me. At one point in my life, I didn’t love myself at all, so I will talk about how I learned to love myself the right way just in case you need some extra guidance.

Six years ago, I wasn’t aware of how to love myself or why should I even love myself at all. I struggled with loving myself daily. For some reason, I always felt like I was never good enough. And I never missed an opportunity to compare myself to someone else. Yes, it was that bad. I’m not sure where I went wrong because as a kid, I never had this problem. Maybe because I didn’t know exactly what self-love was at the time. I noticed things took a turn when I ended middle school and entered high school.

That’s pretty much when the feelings of inadequacy and everything else started. And it’s no secret that I have generalized anxiety disorder and have had it for a while. So of course, back then, I worried about literally everything. It went from the good grades I was making that wasn’t enough for me to the opinions of what other people had of me; it was all in my head and never went away.

I’m writing this post because a teen reached out to me and it honestly brought me to tears to know that she feels almost the same way about herself as I did when I was her age. I believe that everyone has struggled with self-love somewhere in their life but it doesn’t get talked about. Especially when it comes down to how it affects our mental health and well-being. The way we view ourselves should always be in the most beautiful, accepting, and positive way because we must go on through life loving ourselves if we want to achieve happiness. Self-love will get us through so many obstacles that life brings us and that’s one of many things to remember.

How I Learned To Love Myself

Stopped caring so much

When you stop caring what others have to say, you’ll be freeing yourself from negative thoughts and feelings. The only opinion you need to be respecting is your own. People are going to have something to say about you regardless; So why give them the satisfaction of seeing you affected by their words?

Like I said previously, it’s no secret that I have generalized anxiety disorder. On most days, I feel like I’m on top of the world but then there are other days where I am contemplating my entire existence. That’s anxiety. But over the years, I have learned that if I stopped caring about what others thought of me, I would feel happier. I say that because when I stopped caring about other people’s opinions, I had no reason to keep comparing myself to them. I learned to know that I was my own person and that I was unique. Every one of us is our own person and we’re unique. None of us are supposed to be the same.

Every day that you wake up in the morning, you need to remind yourself that this is your life and yours only.

Accepted my body

Let’s be real here. There has been a time in your life when you didn’t like something about your body. And that’s okay. Accepting your body can be a lot easier said than done. Especially with the ongoing images of other people on social media, online, and on TV. However, it’s important to learn to accept your body because your view of your body can impact your food choices, relationships, happiness, and overall health. 

Accepting my body didn’t happen overnight for me. It didn’t happen in a month either, it was an ongoing process for me. I noticed that the more I practiced gratitude, the closer I became to accepting any “flaws” and seeing them as unique parts of who I was.

A few things I did to accept and love my body:

• Practice positive self-talk
• Recite affirmations in the mirror
• Stopped comparing my body to others

Cared as much about myself as I did for others

A while back, I was never a person who would put my needs before anyone else’s. I used to always make sure everyone else was okay even if I wasn’t. I remember the feeling I used to get when this would occur. And I was pretty angry but I would still do it because I honestly felt like I didn’t matter or nobody would care about my feelings.

But now? You don’t have to tell me twice to put myself first.

It is not selfish to care about yourself. Compassion for yourself means showing concern for your feelings as well as for others. Treat yourself the way you would treat your children or your best friend—with gentleness, concern, and caring.

Remember, you can’t care for others if you don’t care for yourself first.

Love who you are

Learning to love yourself more is one of the most powerful things you can do regarding self-improvement. Self-love can fix things like low self-esteem, and a strong need for validation from others, and also increase your levels of confidence. There are just so many benefits of loving yourself.

Wherever you are in your journey, promise yourself that you won’t stop until you love yourself completely. You deserve to feel amazing about yourself. And you are beautiful inside and out.